Rolling
by PeasantThePeasant
Summary: (Inspired by Rolling Girl) Castiel is breaking down and falling apart. (HIATUS FOR EPILOGUE)
1. Chapter 1

[Nothing here belongs to me except for the fanfiction concept]

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"No, Dean I'm not done yet."

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"Might as well, you've always been a... nuisance."

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The older Winchester was drunk.

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"All you've ever done is make everything worse!"

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"Dean, I - "

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"Shut up. Shut up. Just go away, would you?!"

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Their motel door creaked open slowly.

XXXX

Sharpening his blade, he marched straight through the door of the vampire nest.

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He barely got out with his life.

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The rain poured. Blood oozed out of him slowly. For a moment, he considered simply dying.

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XXXX

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They... Had left him. It was what was inevitable. Couldn't have been avoided.

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"We're expendable."

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She was right.

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The flames licked at his sides eagerly and soot filled his lungs.

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He marched through the fire with weight in his step, letting the red catch hold of him.

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"Always ready to bleed for the Winchesters,"

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Castiel needed to find them.

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XXXX

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Sam and Dean weren't at the bunker.

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He waited for weeks before he decided to set out to look for them.

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The Angels had found him though.

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They whipped, burned, and cut him for several months before he broke free of his chains and limped along the side of the road.

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The had blade carved through him etching itself into his very soul.

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He screamed and screamed,

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Help me.

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Plick.

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Plick.

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His blood dripped slowly, dark red staining the snow.

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XXX

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The next time he saw them his gaze was empty.

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"Sam. Dean."

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They looked at him too, but with conflicted eyes.

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He fell.

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XXX

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He woke, numb to all his pain.

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Dean sat by his bed, head over two arms and sleeping.

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Castiel ran his hand through his soft brown hair.

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His eyes snapped open, almost flinching back from his touch.

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"Cas."

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His voice croaked.

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"God, I am so sorry - "

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"Cut the crap."

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His green eyes widened.

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Castiel's face was impassive, devoid of emotion.

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"I'm no use to you anymore aren't I?"

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"No. No Cas you - "

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"Got it wrong?"

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He wanted to yell, to scream, but his words only came out in harsh rasps.

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"You - you left me, Dean.

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Oh, he _bled. He bled rivers and oceans of blood._

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He always felt the ghost of chains over his wrists.

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He always heard the whispering hiss of a blade on his skin.

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Lucifer was always next to him, singing a quiet song.

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All for the Winchesters.

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Always for them.

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Because he loved them. And no matter what they did he was there, always.

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What a divine comedy, isn't it father?

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 _Look at how damned hilarious it is._

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They don't need me anymore.

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 _There was a time_ _when_ he was a general, fighting valiantly among the sea of blood and smoke.

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 _There was a time where_ angels envied him and demons trembled at the very sound of his name.

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Castiel, the angel of the Lord.

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 _How the mighty have fallen._

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Castiel raised his hands.

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 _So maybe,_

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They circled around his own throat.

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XXX

Like, critic, and review! This is a two-part story. If you would like a second chapter, please leave a review in the comment section ~

Will appreciate if you check out my profile! I will be taking story requests for the shows listed in my summary.

Also I really have no plans for this this fic... Or my of my fics, really. I'm literally picking all of this out of my brain.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own any of the song lyrics here. _Rolling Girl_ is by Wowaka and the English lyrics were made by JubyPhonic. I suggest you check out both of them.

* * *

 _"One more time?"_

 _"Just a little more, waiting til the day that I see the end"_

 _"I'll stop this breath from seeping out…for now."_

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Castiel felt two strong arms pull him into an embrace, breaking his grip from his neck.

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"Shit, goddamnit, I _care_ about you _Cas_ ,

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"So don't you _ever_ fucking think that we don't need you for one second."

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 _One more time, one more time_

 _"Please just lemme roll for another day"_

 _That's what she said, What she said_

 _Don't you know the meanings are hidden under cover?_

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"I was so angry, you know? Sam was gone, and I -"

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His voice wavered.

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"I took it out on the nearest person by me."

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Dean had tears streaming down his face now, and Castiel grit his teeth.

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"Don't cry."

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He repeated it like a mantra until he was sobbing too.

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" _I'm sorry. I'm so sorry_ -"

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Castiel couldn't bring himself to feel anything besides guilt and regret.

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 _"One more time? Stop it's fine."_

 _"Aren't you getting tired of doing this?"_

 _"I'll stop your breath from rolling out… for now."_

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Sam stood in the doorway, a small smile on his face.

* * *

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And thus, ends the story. This chapter was originally longer but...

So I was writing this on an iPad on . I was searching up who made the song lyrics I put in here and when I came back... The page reloaded on me. All my work was gone ;-;. That's why I cut it short on here. I might write an epilogue since I'm really dissatisfied with this chapter.

Remember to like, review and critique!


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